Thursday, February 11, 2010

Die, Baby, Die thumbs pages 8-13

So, I'm still working on adding in the sound effects for the first scene. I'm going to run it by Steve Bissette on Monday and see where we're at with that. I'll post that later, hopefully it will be the final versions of those pages. Now I'm getting ready to layout the next scene. Here are the thumbnails I've started with. They are a bit rough, as my thumbnails tend to be, I'll explain some of the confusion in the text. That dude is Hisashi sweeping steps.
Introduction to Chiyoko, one of the main characters in this story.

In this page I was thinking of having the Grandmother saying something nasty in the first panel. But upon looking at it again, it almost works better as a silent panel.


Okay, I've gotten some feedback here. Chiyoko's grandparents run a small temple. This story is set in modern day Japan. One of my friends who lived there said that Japanese Buddhists don't pray this way. I've found a few videos showing that they do. I might leave it as is, sometimes if you leave out enough details the story will work, or if you have way too many details the story will work, but if you're somewhere in between it all falls apart. I think I might err on the side of not a ton of details and focus mostly on the story here.




These last two panels I think I'll flip.



I like this scene so far, but I'm not sure if I like how it ends with the grandparents. I was going to have the grandma say how she doesn't trust Hisashi, that all boys are after one thing. And the grandfather sticking up for Hisashi, saying he's a sweet kid. Then he says, "Don't you remember what it was like when we were that age?" And then he slaps his wife's ass and they run off, we can only assume to fool around. I cut that because it detrailed too much from the story of Chiyoko and Hisashi.
The comment about Chiyoko's mother I kind of like because it leaves her mother in mystery for the reader, which is something I could or could not come back to later. Although I do have a scene written when she is talking to one of the characters about loosing her parents. Maybe I need a bit more dialog from the grandmother before the grandfather says that Chiyoko is strong like her mother.
The next scene is Hisashi and Chiyoko walking to school and Hisashi gives Chiyoko a charm because he has a crush on her. I have it thumbnailed out, but it needs some changes. When I get to that and scan it in I'll throw it up on the web.

3 comments:

Jatronic said...

Matt's thumbnails are better than my finished comics.

Jatronic said...

Old people getting it on? What kind of blog is this?

Matt Aucoin said...

Oh, it's THAT kind of Blog!