Horror Story Intro Thumbnails

This is the introduction to a horror story that I had plotted out. I sent the "script" to my thesis advisor, Stan Sakai. We sat down over breakfast at the Baltimore Comicon and he asked me politely how much feedback of his that I wanted. I told him, "everything." So Stan told me that the introduction to my Demon Horror Story was confusing. He didn't realize it was a horror story until he was about a third of the way through the story. He suggested an alternate intro, which is what I attempted to thumbnail below. I think it sets the correct mood for a horror story. You be the judge...

These are all rough thumbnails, I still have a bunch more research to do, as far as the building interior and finalizing the character design of the demon. But the two characters, Hisashi and Yuki, are pretty solid. Drop a comment and let me know what you think.